Changing What Is

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.

Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.    – Rumi

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (at least in my opinion). But no matter how wonderful things are, there will still be times when you see things that upset you, displease you, or make you unhappy. That’s the nature of our physical world.

When we see something we do not like, we have two choices: to either fight against what is in front of us to change it, or to change the way we are looking or feeling as we observe it.

The reflex response for most people is to argue with what they don’t like or complain about it. Unfortunately, these tactics usually don’t work. Arguing with someone to get them to change their viewpoint usually doesn’t work, and they will usually fight back to maintain their position. Complaining often doesn’t do any good either, since the complainer is usually complaining to someone who is not involved in the situation at all, and would have no power to make a difference anyway. Both of these strategies keep the bad feelings going and keep the focus on what’s wrong.

The bottom line is that we really don’t have control over anyone else or anything else. The only thing we always have control over is ourselves.

Rather than fighting what’s in front of us, we can choose to change ourselves. Instead of arguing with a different viewpoint, we can be curious about it and acknowledge that it might make sense from that person’s point of view. In that kind of discussion, we can state our own point of view as an alternative for the other person to consider. That kind of conversation puts the focus on inclusion and acceptance rather than division. When we see a situation we don’t like, we can choose to look for the beneficial aspects of it. The situation could be an opportunity to learn, grow, or evolve, even though it might not be an easy process. If we decide to complain about it, it should be to someone who has the power to change it.

In a lot of ways, what happens around us depends on our reaction to it. We can try to control the outside, although there are no guarantees we will and we might actually make things worse. We can try to change ourselves, which we know we can do and see how that changes things around us. Even if the outside doesn’t change, we can feel better about it and find the good in it.

What do you think? Have you changed yourself rather than the world and seen great results? Leave a comment!

Until next time, remember… We are all magnificent.