Giving People a Break

Have you ever done something or said something in the past when you hadn’t thought it through, which later you wish you hadn’t done or said?

I’ve had some times when I didn’t think and something slipped out, or it came out much stronger than I would have said it normally.  I’ve had times when I wish I hadn’t done some little thing that really didn’t matter much, but that upset the atmosphere for a little while. Maybe we were talking about a topic I felt uncomfortable with, maybe I felt pressure to know more than I actually did, or maybe I felt pressure to be as cool as the rest of the group.

These are the things that make me wince whenever I think about them. A few times they required an apology, but most times the people involved probably just forgot about them. But I didn’t. Every so often a memory would come up, and I’d groan and think to myself “How could I have said that? I should have known better.” Then I came across this quote:

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.   – Maya Angelou

On the flipside, I’ve watched other people do the same kinds of things. And I’m sure that they’ve looked back the same way, and criticized themselves for not doing better.

The truth is that most of the time when these things happen, people aren’t really thinking, but acting out of reflex. Sometimes they just don’t have the experience to know what the results of their actions are going to be. Sometimes they can feel pressure to be something that they’re not. Dealing with these things can be as easy as adopting a belief that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know at the time and with what external pressures they’re feeling at the time. It comes down to giving people the benefit of the doubt, and giving them a break. And that includes giving yourself a break. too.

What do you think of this? Do you think back on some events and wince? Can you give yourself and others a break? Leave a comment!

Until next time, remember… We are all magnificent.