Old Ideas, New Ideas

The difficulty lies, not in the new ideas, but in escaping from the old ones, which ramify, for those brought up as most of us have been, into every corner of our minds. 

– John Maynard Keynes

The struggle between old ideas and new ideas was the biggest factor in any change I’ve made in my life so far. The old ideas came from my childhood – from my parents, teachers, friends, and, ultimately, from the culture at the time. I was taught about what girls should do, about what girls shouldn’t do, and about what girls can’t do. I was told what I was good at and what I wasn’t good at. I was taught about how the world works, and told how it should work (our way) and how it shouldn’t work (their way). I was taught what would bring me praise and acceptance and what would not. Those ideas soaked into every corner of my mind, and those beliefs became the basis of my thinking. I never really thought too much about them. Those beliefs just described the way the world IS.

All the big decisions of my life – getting married, getting divorced, building a house (and more) were made against the backdrop of those old ideas. It’s only when I was faced with an idea that went against the old ones that I realized those old beliefs that were already there. The choices I made either agreed with those beliefs, or did not.

Making the choice to get married was “easy”. It agreed with the old beliefs about how my life “should” go. Making the choice to get divorced went against the old beliefs. It required me to consider what was more important – how other people saw my situation and how I saw my situation. It was a choice about what was right for me versus what was right according to everyone else. Making the choice to build a house went against the beliefs of what a girl like me could do.

In the end, my choices did not “break” anything. My choices created changes, and my world adjusted to those changes. I realized the beliefs about what I could do were not set in stone. I hope that by making the choices I did I showed the people around me that it was possible to change things in their own lives.

What do you think? Have you made a change that went against your old ideas? Are you considering a change that requires you to escape from your old beliefs? Leave a comment!

Until next time, remember… We are all magnificent.