The "Right" Choice

The following is a real and true conversation between me and myself a few years after my divorce:

Me: “I don’t like my life the way it is.”

Myself: “Then change.”

Me: (after a pause) “But it’s familiar…”

Myself: “That’s ridiculous.”

At this point in time, everyone had adjusted to the changes resulting from the divorce, and we were in a new routine. Nothing was “bad”, but nothing was really “great”, either. I really wanted to feel better. I wanted a change, but I was not sure how, or even if, I should start.

I pushed the thoughts of change away and went on with my routine. Looking back, I think what scared me was the idea of making a wrong choice. What if my life actually changed completely? And what if it changed into something worse? I was afraid I would somehow lose control of it.

A decade or so later, I have a different perspective…

The first truth I learned is that a whole new life is not going to materialize in front of you tomorrow if you make a “wrong” choice, and that you’ll be stuck with the results of that choice forever. Any change takes time, and the vast majority of changes are reversible.

The second (related) truth I learned is there is no such thing as the “wrong” choice. When I was worried about making the “wrong” choice, in the back of my mind I also assumed there was a “right” choice, and even perhaps only ONE “right” choice. That “right” choice would lead to the one “right” destination. Now I know there is not only one way to get to where you want to go. No single choice will prevent you from getting there. It’s like going to the bus stop and missing your usual route 101 bus. You always take that bus and now it will be another half hour until the next one comes. But in 5 minutes there will be a route 103 bus. The route 103 bus goes a different way, but will still get you where you want to go.

I’ve learned through time and experience that the Universe adjusts to the decisions we make. It’s constantly working for us to get us where we want to go. If we get on the “wrong” bus, it will send other buses to choose from. The only choice we need to make is really the next one. Do we keep going on the same route, or do we switch buses?

What do you think of this? Have you been paralyzed trying to figure out what the “right” choice is? Have you been fearlessly getting on random buses for a while? Leave a comment!

Until next time, remember… We are all magnificent.