Under Pressure

We are all magnificent. We are all meant to express our unique selves. Soon after we are born, we begin to interact with people who want us to behave a certain way. Don’t cry. Don’t be angry. Don’t play in the mud. Do this for me.

Over time, we got more pressure from more people around us. We not only got pressure from them, but also from the society around us. Girls are supposed to look like this, and behave like this. Boys are supposed to look like that and behave like that. We all want love, and we want to fit in, so we yielded to that pressure. Perhaps not all of it, but at least some of it. After a while, it became easier and easier to behave and do the things that other people wanted rather than what we wanted.

I realized I had gone down that path when I decided to file for divorce. I had followed the path laid out for me by others. I went to school, studied hard, got my degree, and a good job. I got married largely because it was “time” to get married and there was someone who wanted to marry me. The next logical step was having children (that really was something I wanted at the time). I went along on autopilot for years until I had an “aha” moment when I realized that my marriage was toxic. Most of the people around me (not to mention society in general) would have wanted me to stay in the marriage, but that would have meant betraying my Self. I could not stay. I had focused for so long on what other people wanted that I had lost touch with myself. It took some time for me to rediscover who I was and what I wanted my life to look like.

I had the chance to create a new physical environment in a new home. I remembered I always loved to sing and wanted to dance, so I decided to take voice lessons and dance lessons. I studied spiritualty, metaphysics, and personal development.

As I explored, I continued to work at a job that I was good at and that paid me well. I finally left it because my heart was not in it anymore. The Self I had rediscovered could not do meaningless work anymore. It needed to express itself differently. And again, the people around me and society would have told me to stay at this job, even though it was painful to do so.

I still feel the pressure from outside, but I realize now that making changes to be true to Self are do not have to be fatal, or disastrous. They are not easy, or quick, or straightforward, but they do lead to more peace and joy.

How about you? Were you pressured into a life that was not right for you? Are there changes you need to make to be true to your unique self? Leave a comment!

Until next time, remember… We are all magnificent.